Unanswered Prayers

Hey everyone,

A friend asked me last week whether God answers our prayers. She’s been through a lot in life, and wonders If God is listening to her prayers. I wouldn’t have known the answer before, but today I know what happens we pray to God. My experience of doing Hajj has given me a deep insight onto where our prayers go.

There are three things that may happen when you pray.

1. Your prayers are answered immediately.
2. Your prayers are answered later, not immediately.
3. Your prayers are not answered; which means God deems it better to not answer your prayer to prevent you from any harm or disturbance that may come from answering your prayer.

I can hear some of you groan out there. Why would God choose not to answer my prayers? Have you ever been in a situation where something looks so amazing to you now, but then come to realize later that it’s not that great? Well, it’s the same thing with our prayers. Sometimes we pray so hard at a spur of a moment, thinking that a miracle from God will make us happy, but then much later, we realize that what we prayed for was not worth it.

I can tell you when about three years ago I would be praying hard to God to make a girl I loved a lot love me back. I prayed that there would opportunities for me to share my love for her. I prayed that somehow I would get the courage to ask her to marry me. I loved so much so I shared it a with a common friend of that girl and I. I would literally pray everyday. Well, guess what, after about a year having not met with the girl, I was totally shocked to see her again. She was also hooked up with another guy, who was also a not a nice human being. In an instant I thanked God because He did not answer my prayers for that girl and I to hook up. Sometimes, God’s best gifts to us are His unanswered prayers!

The one most important thing I learned was that my prayers never go to waste! God always listens to your prayers. God could choose to answer or not, depending on the nature of what you asked for in your prayer. So when my friend asked me that question, I reassured her that just because God doesn’t answer your prayer doesn’t mean He doesn’t care. In fact, He cares so much for you, that in order to prevent you from any unforeseen harm, God doesn’t answer your prayer for your own protection.

Mansur

I Am Just Sad…

Hey all,

Just these past few days, I have been just really sad. I don’t know when it started to happen, but I just feel really sad. Maybe it’s because I am alone here, or maybe it was because someone close to me made a really personal comment to me, hurting me deep in my heart. I am trying to figure out why I am just so sad. I haven’t been able to smile or take something lightly. Sometimes I feel that God is punishing me for something I may done couple of weeks ago. This is not a confession blog here, but I wish I could somehow confess my sin to someone. I’d be too ashamed to talk to anyone about it, even my own parents. I have been repenting and confessing my sins to God, but even then I feel like I am being punished. I don’t feel like going out of my house, even though I started a new job today, and I am beginning to hate it so much already. Nothing is able to make me happy, not even the Burberry perfume, not even my home videos. I get choked up in my throat just sitting anywhere. I went for a long walk after I left my workplace today evening, more like a soul-searching walk. I had Burger King all alone, and then treated myself to TCBY, my comfort food. Nothing made me happy. I went to an Islamic bookstore to pick out a Quran in English. I almost started to weep in there as it hit me more and more of what an ungrateful person I am to God. Maybe I need to come back to God. I have strayed so far away from God, it hurts me personally. I just feel so down in the dumps, especially after having done the Hajj this year. I realize that I have not made any changes in my life. Despite doing my Hajj, I still managed to sin in a big way. I don’t know what to do. I am so confused and messed up right now. I don’t understand why I am being punished this way. I finally talked to a friend here, who couldn’t really comfort me with her own words but instead gave me a song to express her sentiments and her friendship to me. It is comforting to know that I have a friend like her who would think about me this way, in terms of pure friendship and not romantically inclined.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there’s is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
There’s no doubt in my mind where you belong

I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There ain’t nothing’ that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothin’ like me yet

There ain’t nothin’ that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love
(Garth Brooks)

I hope I can recover this week. If you don’t hear anything from me on my blog, you know where I am.

Mansur

Cologne Experience

Hey everyone,

Last week I was sitting in the reception area waiting to meet someone in the company. There was a guy sitting next to me, from whom was emanating this amazing smell. I absolutely had to know which cologne he was using. Should I ask him? Should I ignore the matter? Is it gay for a guy to ask another guy which cologne he is using? How can I ask him without sounding flirtatious, or sending out the wrong message? Man, why did he have to so much of that awesome cologne?

Finally, mustering up the courage, I finally asked him. He was so elated and smiled a lot. People do like it when you compliment them on something. This guy was so happy. I don’t know why, but I told him again that his cologne is too cool making him smile even more!

So it turned out to be Burberry for Men. I tried some on yesterday and it made me feel all lovey-dovey. I am just so mesmerized by this smell. I can fall in love with myself if I have this cologne on. Right now, I use CK Truth, breaking my habit of using Davidoff’s Cool Water for nine years. As soon as I finish this CK Truth, I plan on sticking to Burberry for Men for the rest of my life.

I cannot begin to explain to you how awesome the smell is. It gets to me in my head, and I get a light moment of dizziness. I feel elated. I think there are traces of pheromones in this cologne, for I begin to feel as I have been transported to another world. I get a literal out of body experience.

Goodness, what’s wrong with me?

Mansur

Rainy Day in Dubai brings Destruction

Hey friends,

We have been having awesome weather here in Dubai. It’s been raining, and I wish I were back in London because I love walking in rainy weather in London. There are no places here for me to walk and enjoy the weather. I would be engulfed in the traffic and pollution. Plus, roads and sidewalks are flooded with water. Go to a park, you find u have to walk through puddles of water.

Anyways, I have been enjoying the weather immensely. However, last night, my friend and I went to the Mall of the Emirates, where we were supposed to meet up with our other friends. She lives in Arabian Ranches, which is in the new part of Dubai. Well, guess what? She was delayed by an hour just to leave her home because the downpour created lakes there. In short, rains caused havoc and destruction in Dubai, especially the new Dubai area.

Not only that, there were 513 car accidents here because of the rain. Water was leaking in shopping malls-not any regular one, but Ibn Battuta mall! A friend said water was leaking in the Fairmont Hotel’s restaurant. Buckets were placed in shops to collect water leaking from roofs. I wonder what is going on in the minds of the people who are in charge of town-planning and city buildings. Havent they heard of such a thing as water-proofing buildings? Are they cutting costs and corners by refusing to water-proof public buildings? What will the tourists think as they are passing through malls to see buckets in their path collecting water? My friend was pondering how many floors the water must have passed through such a tall hotel in order to get to the ground floor.

I just see a simple act of God in this. Man cannot overcome nature. Yes, we may have defied elements of nature by building high rises in the desert, and air condition them with air conditioners. Man can defy nature by building structures, but nature will always prove its worth and show man that man is still vulnerable. Remember the minor earthquake last year in Dubai? My Civil Engineering professor used to tell us that “should there be an earthquake in the region, these buildings will fall like a pack of cards.” I have personally seen and heard the tactics contractors use here. Their aim: to construct as many projects as fast as possible, and if that means to cut corners and costs, so be it. Sad to say, but it’s happening here.

The builders and planners of Dubai need to take a lot into consideration, given the number of buildings and projcets being announced and built. I for one hope nothing afflicts Dubai so seriously that people would wished they had taken precautions.

Mansur

What Makes Me Live my Life Each Day….

Hello friends,

I am sitting at my dining table, as another night comes to an end. The curtains are drawn open, and I can see outside, through the balcony. I see few cars zipping down the main road. There are two neon billboard signs standing out prominent. Otherwise the city looks very sleepy. I also see the two minarets of the mosque lit up. Why do I feel I want to be there rather than my home? The weather had been nice last night, with thunder and rain. I hope it rains again tonight. There is just something about rain that I identify with. It is 330am and I am eating my bowl of Frosties. I am not sure if the drop on my cheek is my sweat or my tear. My eyes well up as I take in another day of my life. What is my life? As I try to ponder on what my life and where it is headed, I am left with even more confusing feelings and thoughts. What have I done in my life that I am so proud of? What am I doing in my life that I can look back on at proudly? What have I achieved if anything? Strong feelings of hopelessness over come me. I haven’t really done anything that can make other people proud of me. I have not won any scholarships or any awards. I am not a very popular person. Even though my parents are very well known in Jeddah, I am basically a nobody. Nobody remembers me. They all know me as my “father’s son” but not for me. Why should they even remember me anyways?

Next to my bowl of Frosties I see two things that have defined me my entire life. These two things have been with me as far as I can remember, and every time I look at them, I see how far I have come in my life, for it could have been far worse.

Both these things are my hearing aids for my right and left ear. Having been born deaf, I had always thought I would end up as a miserable loser in my life. What chance am I going to get to prove anything to people? Why would people want to pay attention to me anyways? I have seen how they talk to deaf people, and how some people make fun of them? I also fall under the group of people who are made fun of, or are not treated equally. I grew experiencing hatred, loneliness and discrimination. People would talk behind my back. Students would call me names specifically about my hearing. Others would choose not to talk to me. I would seek desperately for acceptance, but would never really get it. I would come back home from school utterly devastated. At times I would weep myself to sleep. However, I never let anyone know of my true feelings. I had to keep a strong outer appearance. I had to show the others that I am not a defeated person.

There came a point in my life when I was at a crossroad. Do I let people continue to treat me differently, or do I change my attitude and behavior, and go the extra mile to show others that I can be equal, and better than others? I am in no way handicapped, nor am I created inferior to you. Just because I may not listen to you well enough, or that I am deaf without my hearing aids, doesn’t make me an inferior person. As a result of this attitude, I consciously chose to practice my virtues and abandon all vices. I could have picked up smoking, but chose not to. I could have drunk alcohol and eat pork, but chose not to. I could have made girlfriends, not that there is anything wrong with that, but chose not to. I could choose to steal, cheat on exams and lie to others, but chose not to. I wanted to prove to others that my handicap will not stop me from achieving what I want to in life.

Although I have been delayed in school by one year, and have lost out one year in university because of a major change from dentistry to architecture, I feel today that I have achieved a lot for someone who is born deaf. The constant support from my family, and a few of my friends, have made it possible for me to live my life each day with strength and courage. My friends never let me feel anything about my hearing. I learnt early on in life that there will be mean people in this world, and I could let that affect me, or change me for the better.

So while my bowl of Frosties have finished, and cold wind is blowing in my apartment, I see my two hearing aids, which make me realize how far I have become. That drop on my cheek was indeed a teardrop, but one of happiness, as I sit here thankful to God for the life He has given me. It could have been worse, but He has blessed me with so much, and has given me so many opportunities in life. Sure, there are days when I am depressed and sad, and it during those moments when I take one look at my hearing aids, and remind myself of how far I have come in my life.

Mansur